Author: fallen_arazil, aka Djinn
Fandom: House, M.D.
Characters: Allison Cameron
50_darkfics Prompt: 002. Dark Path
Word Count: ~570
Author's Notes: Yes! I am finally making a serious effort at filling out my 50_darkfics table! This one is for Cameron, because I like making people complicated. Plus, I wanted to make her a bit more than the 'nice' one. (although she hasn't been that lately, has she?) Erhm, unbeta'd.
The truth about Allison Cameron is that she's very attached to destruction. She was never the one of her sisters that liked drawing or playing with dolls--she was the one that would scribble out her younger sister's crayon-sketches and cut the hair off of her elder sister's Barbies with scissors. The elder was always going to be older and smarter than her, and the younger was always going to be smaller and more fragile, and so she pulled apart the things that made them who they were as if it might reveal what she was. When she said that she wanted to be a doctor, it was because you often have to pull people apart to save them.
The truth about Allison Cameron is that she met a dying man and she was so pulled in, so fascinated by his gradual atrophy that she hovered over him, adored him, married him, and watched him shatter. People spoke of her selflessness, of her kindness and love, and no one suggested that she might be glad to be a widow at twenty-two. No one opined that she might be hoping to destroy herself a little, too--that her own cracks might be just as alluring as anyone else's.
The truth about Allison Cameron is that she had not gone into her fellowship looking for a deeper meaning in her life; she had gone into it because Immunology only told you so much about what could destroy people, and she wanted to know everything, and she'd hoped for House because she thought he could teach it to her. Allison loved to watch Dr. Gregory House destroy people around him, pick them apart until they were nothing but bones, to cure them in such a way that sometimes, they might wish they had died. House destroyed people while he restored them, and that was so completely fascinating that Allison thought perhaps she had found someone who was like her. Perhaps she even thought that someone who was so good at both tearing things asunder and knitting them back together would know which was her just fate.
The truth about Allison Cameron is that she is sympathetic so that she can be nearby when people break, and if she allows people to cry on her shoulder it is so that she can feel them breaking around her. She knows, more than anyone, that she cannot, cannot be trusted to have another's best interests at heart, but the kind of person she appears to be is so likeable, so trustworthy, that even Eric Foreman was willing to put his life in her hands. She broke him just as much as anything else she'd been allowed to touch. If digging into Foreman's brain was a greater sin that digging her nails into the flesh of Chase's back as he fucked her, it didn't matter. It was still all about breaking things around her, and she couldn't have done any differently with either of them.
The truth about Allison Cameron is that she really thinks James Wilson has House's best interests at heart, and that is perhaps the one reason she despises him. It's nothing rational, nothing she could say aloud, but two years of watching House decay reminds her, so much, of her lost husband, of his slow slide into nothingness, and she doesn't want anyone to take that away from her.